The men in my walls say that having more friends will make me seem less suspicious to any federal or spectral authorities that may be trying to steal my pet rocks.
I enjoy common human activities such as breathing, saying "ope" when I bump into people, and posting heavily edited images on social media for a sense of temporary yet ultimately unfulfilling validation.
Please let me into your home, I am perfectly normal and can be trusted with intimate knowledge of urban architecture.

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